My 27th birthday!!

January 09, 2020

My 27th birthday!!

On Tuesday, I turned 27 y’all!! It’s still so crazy to think about. Almost the entire year that I was 26, I kept thinking I was 25 -- even though I feel like I’m still 23! Although I am really young, age and numbers have never meant anything to me. It’s all about the way I feel. Right now, I’m feeling scared by the realization that I am actually 27 years old and that growing up is a real thing. I just want to stay young forever!

I thought 2018 was a hard year, but I had no idea how difficult 2019 was going to turn out to be. It started off amazing with my surprise birthday trip and a few other positive changes that had happened right before the new year. Then things turned sour pretty quickly. 2019, my 26th year, turned out to be one of the most mentally challenging years I’ve ever had to go through.

I had a hard time accepting realities and the changes that life was throwing at me. I was forced to make really difficult decisions and deal with situations that I never would’ve expected.

The struggle was real. The tears, the anxiety, the frustration. I couldn’t take it. I didn’t know what to do or how I was going to regain a positive state of mind and a healthy life. In order to do what was best for me, my marriage, and our little family, I removed any and all toxicity from my life. It didn’t matter what (or who) it was. If it brought any stress to my life or made me feel any negative emotions, I cut it out completely.

It’s always a goal of mine to do my best at letting go of things I can’t control, but anyone with anxiety knows how bad it sucks and how it’s practically impossible to overcome. I hate clutter in my house and I’ve realized I need to apply that in other areas of my life. If it’s not adding anything positive, it’s getting tossed.

I focused almost all my energy into some kind of productivity. Since I don’t allow myself to work or write when I’m in a negative headspace, I spent a lot of time cleaning and exercising. Pilates is always my go-to. Not only does it make my body feel good and strong, it provides a dedicated hour for me to refresh and just focus on myself.

Aside from the personal difficulties of this past year, I put a focus on learning how to cook. My husband has always been the chef in the relationship and I didn’t even know how to use a can opener. Seriously, I didn’t! While I still don’t have much interest in cooking (I’d much rather bake), I made an effort to learn more kitchen skills just so we can spend more time together.

I also spent a lot of my time outside. Since I’m always inside the house, I’ve gotten a new appreciation for fresh air and the open outdoors. We took any opportunity we got to take our dogs on a walk, go for a bike ride, spend some time at the beach or river, watch a sunset, or even just sit in peace and listen to the birds. It’s nice to take some time out and enjoy the natural beauty of our world.

Looking into the new year, and my new age, I’m planning to make big changes in order to live a healthier, more high-quality life. The quote “don’t tell people your plans, show them your results” is the name of the game right now.

I plan on spending my time wisely in environments, and with people, that make me happy. I’m looking to improve the quality of my life and make anxiety a thing of my past. I’ve learned what I can live with, what I can’t live without, and how strong I really am. I’m looking forward to taking all of the lessons learned in 2019 to make 2020, my 27th year, one of the best yet!